Rosemary vs. the Bathroom Floor

This weekend was DFW Writer’s Conference, a fantastic conference hosted by my “home” writer’s group, DFW Writer’s Workshop. I was scheduled to present a FABULOUS YA class, and be on several panels and generally have a great time participating and meeting authors and enjoying the creative energy.

I did not get to do any of that.

I woke up feeling fine. About 11 am, I started feeling funny. Kind of queasy and light headed. I hadn’t eaten very much, so figured that’s what was going on. Tried to eat, but couldn’t choke anything down because my mouth was so dry. I was about to give my big presentation, so I went and set up my slides and everything, figuring, I’d just give my talk sitting down, then go home.

Um, no. Someone asked me to sign a book for them, and I said, “sure,” then realized I could barely hold a pen, my hands were shaking so bad. I excused myself, with thoughts of some cold water on my face, and made it to the bathroom.

Specifically, the bathroom floor.

Things I remember:

  1. Some very nice girl with hair like a fairy giving me crackers from her purse.
  2. Someone catching me when I passed out. Definitely the most intimate I’ve ever been with a stranger’s boob.
  3. Lots of people yelling asking if I wanted an ambulance. (I didn’t but they called one anyway, because I passed out again before I could tell them that.)
  4. Lot of people hauling me out of the bathroom and onto a bench in the hall, where I’m pretty sure I flashed most of the DFW Writer’s conference because of my skirt. Fortunately, I’m a full coverage girl, and not a fan of the thong.
  5. Many many very kind people, some of whom are my friends, some of whom I barely know, taking care of me.

Things I don’t remember:

  1. Who any of these people were (other than the girl with the colors in her hair, and Pam, which was sort of the end of my coherence.)
  2. What force in the universe could have every compelled me to sit, let alone want to lie down on, a public bathroom floor.
  3. If I thanked anyone for their help. I don’t really remember much except asking Jenny to come in the ambulance with me, and swearing her to secrecy about my weight.

ANYWAY, after a lovely overnight stay in the hospital, I know that whatever else is wrong with me, I didn’t have a heart attack. It’s one of those things where after I started to feel better the next day, I felt very silly and overdramatic, because I only remember the big fuss, not how I got to that point. But as my friend Kristi said, for ME to end up on a public bathroom floor something must be very wrong indeed.

I’m home, and feeling kind of ugh, but at least I’m ugh at home. I most regret that I didn’t get to give my awesome presentation, though I’m glad that Candace Havens went through my slides, some of the best things aren’t in the notes. But I’ll be posting some stuff in this blog this week that will hopefully atone for that.

9 thoughts on “Rosemary vs. the Bathroom Floor”

  1. Hope you get to feeling better Rosemary! I saw it but there were SO many people around I did not want to intervene! Luckily Jenny and Sally were there. Get well soon, I can't stand hospitals myself…


  2. Cinnamon Skewes, that's who caught you. She found me later and I assured her that you were TOTALLY fine. :)That's right… you were saved by a real life spice girl. 🙂


  3. You guys are so sweet. Yes, I'm feeling better. So many people have been so kind. Also, I haven't found any posts on the internet about Rosemary Clement-Moore pulling a Lohan at a writers conference, so that's a plus.


  4. I'm so so sorry this happened to you! I was so looking forward to meeting you at the conference but alas, it wasn't meant to be. Hopefully I will get the chance at a future DFWWW meeting! For what it's worth, I witnessed the whole event, and there was no flashing of unmentionables at any point. Your modesty is unblemished, my dear! 🙂


  5. You were definitely missed. I'm glad you're better, and just as glad that someone was able to assure you that your dignity is still intact. I had my last child in (on?) a catwalk between a parking garage and the hospital — and people were walking back and forth for half of that show. Trust me, they saw everything I've got, and don't think THAT doesn't hurt my feelings whenever I think about it. UGH.


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