I’m really thrilled to get to present an award at the RWA’s Award Ceremony at the National Conference in July. It’s kind of a big deal. Everyone wears fancy dress, there are multi-media presentations and jumbo screens and teleprompters. (Then there’s the RITA award itself, which is quite beautiful. Mine lives on my desk next to my action figures.)
|Me and RITA in 2009|
In a way, being a presenter is even better than being an award finalist, because you get to have all the fun of dressing up without the stress. But there’s this voice over that happens while you’re walking to the podium, and it says things like “New York Times bestselling author of 150 books” or whatever.
My intro doesn’t say that. It says some cool things about awards and how much librarians like me and stuff. But not that.
When I was filling out the form about it WOULD say, the last question is “Can you tell us something interesting about yourself that we might put in your introduction?”
Which is a conundrum.
What, exactly, would other people consider interesting? I can quote 90% of the libretto of Gilbert and Sullivan operettas, and sing at least five of them. Is this what they mean?
Pink, purple and green are my favorite colors. I love dogs and also otters and foxes. I’m sort of obsessed with Russell Crowe when he’s in fighting trim and kinda even when he isn’t. I won’t sit in a seat that’s warm from someone else’s body heat and I hate my food to touch.
Which doesn’t even factor in this: What is interesting about me… that I would want people to know.
So I asked my assistant what was interesting about me. There followed a text exchange of escalating ridiculousness.
Here’s what we came up with. Some of these may even be true.
Rosemary Clement-Moore is…
- An acclaimed beekeeper and, on a related note, bear wrestler.
- Guilty of stealing JK Rowling’s seat on an airplane.
- Living in a half completed Skull Mountain Fortress.
- Currently building a replica of Easter Island in her backyard.
- The bass guitarist in world renowned garage band Chain Mail Bikini, formerly known as Teenage Mutant Musketeer.
- Understudy to a Tina Fey impersonator.
- Perfecting her archer skills to prepare for the the Dystopian future.
Add your own ideas in the comments. Points for creativity and absurdity. If you make me snort coffee through my nose, you win a prize.