So, this one time my mom tried to kill me with Bath and Body Works Hawaiian Ocean Blue Cloud room spray.
Okay, maybe “tried to kill me” is a little unfair, since it wasn’t actually, you know, intentional. Also, I’m not sure it was *only* the Hawaiian Ocean Blue Cloud room spray. It might have been that on top of the Hawaiian Ocean Blue Cloud body wash, the Hawaiian Ocean Blue Cloud body lotion, and the Hawaiian Ocean Blue Cloud hand sanitizer. Let me just say that whatever ladies magazine first said “layer your fragrances for lasting effect” has got a lot to answer for.
Anyway. It’s not just that strong or synthetic fragrances turn me into a red-eyed snot monster. I’m not one of those people who thinks aromatherapy can cure what ails you, but sciences does say that smell is the most evocative of memory and emotion. All I know is that the only guy who ever broke my heart was in the army, and to this day I have a somewhat complicated relationship with the smell of shoe polish.
So the tug of war with Mom over unapproved fragrances has its origin in the fact that smells relax her. She smelled that Hawaiian Ocean Blue Cloud stuff in the guest bathroom of someone’s house, and she loved it because tropical “ocean” smells remind her of beach vacations she took with my dad. She literally stopped at BBW on her way home and bought All The Things that were Hawaiian Ocean Blue Cloud scented. The chemical warfare was merely a by-product of her enthusiasm.
To prove that I am not completely heartless, we went to LUSH and smelled everything in there (which is a lot) until we found something that made her happy and ME happy and then I bought her All The Things that were Karma scented. (So if you ever want to send my mom a birthday present…)
Now, I know you’re saying right now, “But Rosemary, I can smell the LUSH store in the mall from all the way down by the Food Court! How is that different than BBW?” For the same reason I can slather on sunscreen with zinc oxide but one molecule of avobenzone and I turn into the Thing from Fantastic Four. I don’t know. It just is.
Which is where freaking Etsy comes in. In my search for naturally scented products for my smell-loving mother, I discovered the indie, hand-poured-just-for-you soy candle makers. More to the point, I discovered the hand pourers of BOOK AND FANDOM THEMED CANDLES OMG.
Judging by the number of shops on Etsy, I’m late to this game. But it never occurred to me to buy scent-stuff on the internet. But I’m willing to take a chance on something called Reading by the fire (“fireside, cinnamon chai, and hints of cedar”) or Stormborn Queen (“…how I imagine the Mother of Dragons smells when she’s not trekking across the desert”). Butterbeer seems to be a prerequisite, but there’s nothing wrong with that. Also lots of 221B Baker Streets. But check it out: this shop out of Australia has scents called Ketterdam and Cabeswater, and here’s one called Shadowhunters. So now I have a new #bookgoal. Someone is going to make a Goodnight themed candle and I will know that I’ve Made It.
FINALLY, I’ve gotten to the thing that inspired this post. I’ve been wanting to do something like a “Friday Finds” and when the item below popped up in my Pinterest (I do still write, by the way) I had to share it. Frostbeard Studio’s candle of the month is inspired by Agatha Christie’s murder mystery And Then There Were None. It’s called “Soldier Island” and it smells like “ocean, driftwood, and a hint of gunpowder.”
Now. I want everyone to stop and notice how I brought this blog post back around to murder, or the attempt thereof.
Don’t try this at home. I’m a professional.